My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
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