i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
Randomize
