I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
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