All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
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