I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
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