so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
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