Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
Randomize
