he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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