I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
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