So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
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