Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
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