i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
