no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize
