I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Randomize