How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Randomize
