The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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