): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
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