My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
