What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
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