What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
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