talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
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