You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
I think my greatest accomplishment today was probably using a bottle opener to get the cap off my fourth drink while holding the cat WITHOUT dropping him.
Oh god, what has my life become?
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
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