Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
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