3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
she told me i tasted like america
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
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