you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
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