Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
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