everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
Randomize
