shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
Is this like a preordered booty call?
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
Randomize
