uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
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