Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
