I got chris browned last night
i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
Randomize
