Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
After last night, I could never be a politician.
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
Randomize
