is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
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