hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
