Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
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