she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
Randomize
