i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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