Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
Randomize
