i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
Randomize
