Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
Randomize
