Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
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