Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize
