so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
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