no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
