so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
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