so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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