ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
