This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
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