a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Randomize
