I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
I use my feet as sexual weapons
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
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