We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
Randomize
