drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
