Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Randomize