they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
Randomize
