I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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