Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
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