Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
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