She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
Randomize
