how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
