just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
Semen is not good for contacts.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
Randomize
