thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
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