butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
Randomize
