remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
COCAINE IS GR8
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize
